“On the 10th of February 2018, I was preparing for what I always perceived to be the biggest rugby match of the year - England vs Wales. The next thing I knew, two police cars, along with my parents and my younger sister, Rosie, turn up at my university house in Bath to tell me that my brother had taken his own life that morning, aged 22. Never in a million years would I have ever envisaged this happening.
Ted was fortunate enough to have a great group of friends and a close and loving family. He had likeability and a special aura about him that even strangers were often in awe of. Of course, I am biased as his proud little brother, but he was one of those guys who, on the surface, had absolutely everything going for him; he was intelligent, a talented sportsman and was always the life and soul of every situation.
I’m sure to some (including me at times), it was frustrating that whatever he put his hand to he was good at, although his humble nature made it slightly more bearable. Having graduated from Bristol, Ted moved to Swansea to study medicine with the aim of becoming a doctor.
The topic of mental health and suicide is something that I now immensely struggle to hear about or discuss. The majority of the time I find myself choosing to shut myself off or remove myself from certain situations as I simply cannot comprehend what has happened and I refuse to believe the truth. Ted and I coexisted and since his passing, it feels as if everything good in this world has vanished.
Living without the most important and influential person in my life seems unthinkable and intolerably scary. I can say, first hand, that the pain of losing someone through suicide is beyond unthinkable and at times unbearable – to the point that you cannot even physically move, eat or sleep.”
Max Senior
Ted’s younger brother and best friend.